After my first post supporting Booktrust, which mainly colluded that ‘reading IS cake!’, I got some really interesting – and positive – responses on twitter. Particular thanks to @Alibrarylady who is the platonic ideal of school librarian and always so good to chat to, and lovely fellow illustrator @TeriSmyth, and also Damyanti and Katherine for leaving thoughtful comments.
Cheering to hear and no surprise, children who have books love books.
They read in any place and at any old time, and enjoy looking at books by themselves too. A little selective screen-time isn’t a horror, it’s just part of life, no big deal.
I thought I would just expand on the notion of reading aloud to older children,
because it seems so odd to me that it should sternly stop as soon as a child can read to themselves.
I looked at the bookshelves and all the hundreds of books we enjoyed together in this family, and felt a huge emotional wave wash over me, just remembering. One minute it was Milly-Molly-Mandy, it seems, the next it was Curious Incident, then Wodeshouse, then Waugh. I read novels aloud I’d never read myself at all, dug out classics I’d loved when small only to find they hadn’t passed the test of time and were too dreary to bother with, opened my mind to contemporary books I would otherwise have overlooked.
There’s another hidden positive, too.
An older child might have stopped telling you every single thing on their mind; that’s all good and healthy. They might not want to tell you about their day, and they certainly don’t want to hear about yours – what could be more boring!
But sharing a book at bedtime nurtures and sustains that closeness and communication. Instead of asking about school and nagging about homework (oh the TEDIUM – for everybody! ) , it’s all right out there, on the wilder shores of stories, drama, peril, laughs, adventure. Another place to go and spend some time together.
Do you still read to your older child, and what have you both loved recently?
Oh good – someone else who agrees with me about the tedium of being asked about your day as a child. I HATED my mum asking me that question, which she did, unfailingly, every single night.
I don’t read to my older children, and it’s possibly too late to start now, but your post made me really wish I did.
Yes – the tedium, yet I couldn’t help myself from asking and do it still! Did you eat your banana, WHEN did you eat your banana… etc
All they are really most likely thinking is – I was at school, and now I’m not. The day is done.
As for reading aloud, it absolutely isn’t too late if you fancy it; my Mum packed a bit of Dickens when we went on holiday for just this purpose. I bet a million pounds if you starting reading something at the seaside (is it Chesil Beach you go to?) this summer you would have a riveted audience.
Oh the joy of reading with older kids if they will let you! Mine in their teens read to us – Georgia Nicholson’s diaries (Louise Rennison) read aloud in the car by a strangely un-travel sick 15-year-old once had the whole family laughing all the way through France; at about 13 the other daughter would read Skulduggery Pleasant (Derek Landy) to me. Still now I sometimes get a technical grown-up sitting on my study floor while we exchange chapters: quite recently I read ‘Dulce Domum’ from The Wind in the Willows, and got some Just So Stories read to me. Sometimes the older they get, the more they can appreciate the glorious, enduring children’s books.
The joy is wonderfully described here, thank you Nicolette! I didn’t even think to mention being read aloud to BY our children, or our grown-up sons and daughters. (I wish there was a word for our children who are no longer children…)
Have you a spare seat in the car for me?
Our eldest is 9.5 now and she’s read to every night be either me or her dad. For us we had the langauge excuse (if we needed one) to keep reading – wanting to nurture both languages spoken in the home. One interesting side effect of reading aloud to my eldest that I’ve noticed is that by a grown up reading a book to her, she gets interested in that author or that series and then goes off and reads more by herself. Then she’ll come back with those books which she’s read and ask us to read them to her – she wants to share the experience. It’s been a “useful” way of her widening what she would pick herself to read, and also of expanding her range. Often we read books which are aimed at much older children, but we know she’ll enjoy and because we’re reading it together we can talk about any language issues (vocab for example, in English and well as Dutch). She gets 2 levels of input – books she’s comfortable reading herself, and books which might look too difficult, but which she can fall in love with when listening to.
Thanks so much for these thoughts, Zoe. I’m so interested to hear that, having been introduced to a new author, your eldest will read more and then bring it back to share. It’s the most wonderful circular conversation and shared adventure. Lucky her, and you all, and long may it last!
I have friends who are reading my Befana Drama books to their older children & having a great time using the different accents that I gave to my characters, as I had intended. This week, I overheard one woman telling a friend that she is reading Befana Drama 1 to her boys aged 8 and 11 and they are having a brilliant time together every night. I heard her say that her boys (who don’t really like books) look full of awe as she reads. This was beautiful for me to overhear, because I got that joy when reading Harry Potter books to my son (now aged 21). We went through the series & all the films together & we view it as a big part of our lives together.
Thank you so much for calling by, Gianna. How happy it must have made you to overhear this! It’s exactly what we all most hope for. And to connect with that shared joy you have with your son and his growing up years – this big old wheel keeps turning…
Read to all three kids long after they learned to read themselves. It meant they enjoyed and understood authors like Michael Morpurgo and others long before they would have done reading independently. This in turn broadened the range of books they wanted to read themselves. The older two (14 &11) are now recommending books for their young brother (6) and often join us when we’re reading the books they loved when they were his age.
Thank you very much for your comment, Geoff.
How inspiring that your older two have had this richness and breadth in books, and that they want to share this with their younger brother. I didn’t think to mention the opportunities books give siblings to connect with each other – it’s a really good point.
We still read to all our children (separately, they have very different tastes!) every night and they’re nine, seven & two. We’ll be reading to them for as long as they let us!
It’s a lovely way to end even a bad day. And one of my greatest joys was sharing my favourite book as a child (The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope) with my eldest son and having him pester me to tell him how it all ended!
Thanks very much for calling by Rosemary! How fantastic that you passed on a much-loved story from your own childhood.
It’s quite an undertaking to read aloud separately three times, I’m guessing? But oh yes I SO agree about it being a lovely way to end even a bad day…
I have a ten year old, eight year old and three year old. I read to all of them. 10 year old and I have been reading our way through Laura Ingalls Wilder for nearly a year. My eight year old overheard me reading some so I have just started Little House on the Prairie with her. Sometimes I get them to read back to me. The older girls read to my three year old son. To herself, my ten year old is reading The Book Thief and my younger one has a few books on the go, at the moment she’s reading an anthology of short stories.
It’s amazing bonding time, but also a really good to chance to talk about their inner experiences. Books are amazing for emotional regulation, if there’s been fighting in the house we all calm down from the first sentence. The Little House books are great for talking about gratitude and resilience.
Reading aloud is my favourite part of parenting. The connection, the shared imaginative and intellectual space, and the timelessness of story-space… I hope to keep doing it for my kids forever.
I have very strong memories of reading Wind in the Willows and The Magic Pudding with my mother, who was often depressed when I was growing up. Probably my most cherished memories of that time with my mum.
This is a perfectly expressed description of reading aloud being at the absolute heart of family life. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I especially love the idea of stories buzzing back and forth in all different directions, rather than just the parent reading to the child. And I really agree about the peace that descends, letting go of the day and going somewhere else in your head before returning for a fresh start.
YAY for reading to big kids – I wish someone big would come and read to me!
My daughter is 5 and is reading very well alone, so at night we have a little time for her to read to me and then I read to her. We also do a thing called name that book – where I recite random bits of books and she names the book – I’m trying to get her to do the same back to me, it’s so good for the memory!
When I was growing up we had tons of books in the house but nobody ever read to me. I don’t want that for Lily, I will read to her for as long as she will let me *fingers crossed* it will last a long time yet! 🙂
Hello Carly, thanks so much for your comment! Lily has had such a wonderful start with this shared love of books I am sure it WILL last a long time yet…
I love your ‘name that book’ game – what a brilliant idea! Lots of fun, and as you say so good for the memory.
Mine are 11 and 9 but will still choose picturebooks at bedtime over longer books. They have long been reading novels themselves but I think they find a particular comfort in sharing picturebooks, rather than novels. I am happy with that!
When I think what a picture book is, at its best: a story pared down until it’s perfect, polished and shiny, illustrations enhancing and extending the text, and the magical play between words and pictures… well, I think they have very good taste! Comforting and a connection to their earlier days, what’s not to love…
Oh we read and read and read all sorts of books aloud. All meals are interrupted by books and books, there is always a stack next to our dinner table. And there seems to be a story behind every story… Recently my elderly dad was ill and we were all feeling somewhat miserable, so we started re-reading his childhood favorite… Swallows and Amazons. He read the series to me as a child and I have read it to my older children when they were younger… but we are rereading to everyone. And it is lovely!!! Every time I re-appreciate it… I see more little nuances of my father in my childhood that were actually from the Swallow children… the feasts he would take when we went hiking; the rectangular torches that came wrapped in little brown paper bags in our stockings; trips up the mountain to go stargazing and to learn how to navigate from the night sky. My children are meeting their grandfather in his childhood, as we read our way through the chapters… Very special.
Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful account of your dad and your children connected by these stories. It’s a love thing!
By complete coincidence, there have been two dads and two mentions of Swallows and Amazons in a row in the comments left here.
I love the idea of these adventure stories reflecting the real-life out-of-doors adventures you must have had while growing up.
As you say, very special indeed.
As a mum this post means a lot to me because I have fond memories of reading aloud to my sons when they were children & so do they. It’s such a special time that I don’t understand why anyone would want to rush to finish this stage of parenting, both relaxing & so enjoyable & important too. I agree about it enabling older children to experience stories that they may not be able to manage themselves. Reading aloud much current fiction for older children would prompt discussion about important issues that may be tricky to talk about otherwise.
As a school librarian I think that reading aloud by parents allows children to hear good reading modelled, they learn how to use expression, emphasis, different voices etc. all of which will improve the child’s reading. Also nothing (other than seeing good author/illustrators live!) encourages a child to try a new book or author more than hearing it read aloud by an enthusiastic adult. Again & again children will come to borrow books from the school library that they have heard read aloud by a teacher.
Thank you Anne for bringing such thoughtful comments to the discussion.
How lovely that you too have these fond memories. I so agree, as well as relaxing and fun there are opportunities to approach important or sensitive issues indirectly.
And what a solid gold vindication that reading aloud in a school context enthuses the young reader! It is a performance, as you say, acted out with feeling, gusto, and – of course – funny voices!
My dad used to read aloud to my brother and I into our teens when we asked him to. He was just so good at all the voices! Especially Richmal Crompton’s William stories and Arthur Ransome’s Swallows and Amazons books. He loved sharing these from his own childhood and I can’t wait to read them to mine when I have kids.
Thanks so much Bryony for calling by and commenting. What a lovely memory of being read to by your dad – and how splendid that he gave such a good performance! The William stores are so hilarious and a wonderful read-aloud choice.
Being read to doesn’t just expand children’s book horizons – it works for me too! I spend a lot of time in my car and listen to audio books as I drive. I find I listen to stories I wouldn’t pick up and read to myself. The idea that someone else has worked out the ‘tricky’ bits and is working hard to make the story understandable and enjoyable has removed barriers to lots of stories for me. Mind you, it’s not the same as a story and a snuggle!
Thanks so much for this comment, Kim! I wholly agree – I love audio books in the car, and listen to a lot of popular fiction (snobbily called airport books) that I might not invest the time in actually reading: the hours whizz past. Just finishing Gone Girl too which I really enjoyed.
Alas it doesn’t include a cuddle though, as you say…
Hi
Yes, we still read to our daughter (aged 11). I am so glad that she still loves bedtime stories and we certainly enjoy discovering and reading new books with her. We’ve progressed on to pre-teen stories but in between these she still hankers over childhood favourites, including picture books (comfort reading) and Mr Gum (when she needs cheering up). What I like about this too, apart from the continued quiet sharing time at the end of the day, is that I am discovering new authors and books and expanding my own reading horizons!
Hello Sam, thank so much for calling by – I love your Childtasticbooks blog!
Holly is obviously a connoisseur of good books, with a wide range of reading to meet all moods and moments.
And YES, this is so much fun and so interesting for us, too, a shared adventure indeed!
We read to all our children which includes 9 and 11 year old boys. Unfortunately it’s hard to get the time to read to them *every* night as they do cubs/scouts/woodcraft/drama etc so bedtime is sometimes quite late…but when we do, my husband is currently going through the Northern Lights trilogy, and in contrast, I’m reading Norman Hunter to them, after a request for ‘something funny’. We are really enjoying the proper-bonkers-silliness of The Dribblesome Teapots. It’s a wonderful time together and we both really value it – especially for those moments where you can truly see them listening – and catch them teetering on the edge of the bunk beds with excitement about what will happen next. The best of all read-alouds for us are Cressida Cowell’s Hiccup books – hugely dramatic, funny, moving and altogether rip-roaring. I sense there will be a battle as to who will read them to the youngest…
Fantastic comment and top tips Teresa – huge thanks for this! You say in a nutshell what’s most nourishing for a read-aloud: laughs and thrills but with plenty of meat on the bone… ‘teetering on the edge of the bunk beds’ – YES!