The teacher from Lucky Wish Mouse Starting School, reading a story to her class.
This has been me many times lately, after a flurry of author school visits.
I always include a Q & A session, however tiny the Tinies, and I’m constantly amazed at the questions they come up with.
Recently, after introducing myself as an author, I was taken aback to see their faces fall – and was asked what it was like having no mum or dad (author being confused with orphan).
Another time someone asked me how long it takes to write a book. I said, ‘Good question! It takes etc etc…’, but because the others saw that I liked this question and they wanted to please me, the next person asked me how long it takes to write a book. I answered again. The next two questions were the same, until the teacher intervened in exasperation.
Then there are the questions that aren’t questions at all: ‘I have a cat called Otto,’ for instance. There was one very grave and intense chap who looked me in the eye and his question was: ‘WE ARE ALL MAMMALS.’ How could I possibly answer that? Apart from being careful to avoid saying ‘Good question!’
I ask questions too. I ask them what they would like to do when they’re grown up, and they say footballer, mummy, vet, nurse, banker (!), princess, explorer…
one very appealing small boy in glasses said, ‘I want to live with my best friend – AND IT’S THIS GUY!’ putting his arm around another boy in glasses next to him. All smiles, the other boy put up his hand and said, ‘I want to live with my best friend – AND IT’S THIS GUY!’ returning the hug. Nice.
Great fun, Clara! I’ve given up school visits now, but here are a few questions I recall:
Where did you get your glasses?
Who invented electricity?
Can you stay behind for a cup of tea?
One of my favourite statements was from one boy who pointed out a studious looking friend and said, “he’s clever, he is, he’s got an IQ”.
Colin – they are the most marvellous quotes! THANK YOU for sharing them.
It’s too tricky to pick a favourite, but I do love ‘where did you get your glasses’ – it’s the sort of wonderfully dull question a middle aged person would ask.
I would love you to stay behind for a cup of tea… milk and sugar?
Lots of milk and sugar, please Clara! Loved reading the other folk’s questions too. There’s another question which comes up with older children, “how much do you earn?” and one which stumps a non football person like me, “which team do you support?”. Never like to disappoint so learned to say, “with a name like mine, West Ham” but haven’t a clue of any of their players.
Oh yes, the earnings: this is our chance to put children off a career in picture books forever…
Colin ‘West Ham’ West, I like it. Well played! I support the Vulliamy Valiants. Or is that the name of a boiler?
Haha! this is hilarious. Love the author/ orphan confusion!
I once got:
“Do you have a mummy?”
“Yes.”
“Is she coming to pick you up after this?”
Once I was wearing a strapless dress, and one of the 5-year-olds asked me, “Hey! Where are your breast straps??”
And then recently… (bit older – 11) “Have you ever met any famous authors, like for example Jules Verne?”
as for the random statements, yes, all the time – “And my granddad, he’s got a kettle, and, like, his kettle, it’s the same noise as when the dog finds the toy, the dog is called Lucky”, etc.
Hello Clementine (beautiful name), thank you so much for calling by and sharing these brilliant quotes!
That’s the second time the question of whether our mummies will be picking us up has featured… it must loom pretty large in their lives?
And I love the rambling raconteur – I could listen for to him for HOURS…
I love the author/orphan confusion! It reminds me of a work experience I did (a long long time ago!) in a school and the children were quite puzzled as why I was there. One asked me “You’ve got no Mummy or Daddy?” Clearly if I was still at school it had to mean that I had nowhere else to go!
That is a CLASSIC! How funny… it’s as if you were waiting at going-home-time for years and years – unclaimed!
Thanks so much for calling by and sharing it – lovely to see you here.
Hi Clara, Funnily enough the book I’m working on at the moment was inspired by a similar session at an event I did a year or so ago. “Has anyone got a question for Tim?” asked the teacher. A small boy put up his hand and with great enthusiasm announced to the group that he had a guinea-pig. “That’s NOT a question!” bellowed the teacher followed by “What does a QUESTION need?” and the whole group shouted “An ANSWER!”. Then another boy put up his hand and said “My dog is ill”. On the train home I was thinking about a QUESTION needing an ANSWER and started to wonder: what if the ANSWER were lost and couldn’t find its QUESTION? By the time I got home I had the beginnings of a new story in my head. It pays to do school visits!
Hello Tim, thanks so much for calling by. That is a TOP TALE – I love those boys’ ‘questions’!
And a perfect example of how your creative mind whirrs into action and a story is grown. I shall be really looking forward the finished book.
I also wonder whether part of our brain is still that age – for better and for worse!
Actually belly laughing – fabulous!
Hello Kate, thank you so much for calling by, and I’m so glad you liked this. Aren’t children the strangest things…
I’m just off to visit you at your blog now!
Fabulous I love the 2 best buddies!!!
Hello Becky, how lovely to see you here again! Hope you are well?
Yes, we ALL need a best buddy just like those two…
The best one I’ve ever had was “Where’s your necklace?” from a small girl who was most indignant that I wasn’t wearing the necklace I had on in my author photo!
Hello Holly, thanks so much for calling by, lovely to see you here! That’s a CLASSIC quote…
you don’t meant to say you go into schools not dressed up in all your finery???